despair (1st post in english)

I try to write my blog using English, coz some of my fren nt so understand in chinese. Actually, my English is too bad la, I also dun knw hw to write but I will try la…haha…amyb can improve my English. In the past 2 days, I learned 2 thing…in simple language…friendship is the thing that I should guard for and the love is bull shit. I really miss my fren…haha…like the previous post… I said …im really touch becoz stef, jiayi and vannesa is prepared the breakfast for the boys when they still slping…erm…im edi awake…I looking at them making sandwich bt I din feel like want to help…haha…coz feel really very xin fu…haha….bt when I write this…I feel sad in other way…coz I miss her…I always think…if she will treat me like tat…bt yesterday…one of her best fren told me…is time to give up…coz she forget something she promise me b4…is nt the first time…. her best fren say…something tat is nt important to her….she will nt remember it…i feel really hopeless…bt I put many effort on her…sad and lost…I put many hope on degree…. I dot I can same class wif her…I dot I can get close to her…so y I choose this course without any deeper consideration…haiz…is time to slp…nt writing anymore…feel like my world is getting darker…despair guardian…what r the thing that u really guard for?