8 may 2010
Yesterday night, I can`t sleep well. Sneezing for almost the whole night. I go down to my dinning room and continue sleep at there until 11 something. At noon, me, sis and mom go to jusco. Buying cake and ring for my mom. I meet my x with her boyfriend in Guardian. I like saw a ghost. Run out from the shop, but Jusco is just a small place. No matter where I go, I still will meet her. I always wonder why I will hide myself from her. Especially when there is a boy standing beside her. What I do next, I keep find their track. Wanted to see them again without their attention. I tell myself I am a fool. Maybe, I give up to have relationship with man nong, so why I allow myself to do that. if not, I will tell myself again, you can`t betray her, don`t think about your x. For the past few weeks, nearly everything I do, I consider her feeling but now, I think I no need to do that.
Today, Jusco full with teens, many are couples. I meet my old friend with his gf, quite pretty. I start wondering again, is that so easy to get into relationship? Why I can see couple all around. For me, they all just kids. Do they know what is love? The world is start changing or changed a long time ago. No more Cinderella or Snow white. I saw a group of girl, they dress like …… some even like transparent, some is like just use one piece of cloth to cover up the important part; and those make up like hell man. I mean they are some kind of pretty but just too young and too over on their age.
After few shop, my mom just choose a ring that quite cheap, I know because she think I am still studying. So, I also paid for the cake. My sis buy some sort of skin care for my mom. That is.
Love, is quiet far from me. Although my very desperate. But I think it just too far from me.
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